When it’s Not So Easy to Forgive
I’ve always been the type of person that forgives pretty easy given the circumstance. I’m not one to hold grudges and can usually move past an offense–not on my own accord but after seeking solace in prayer. It is then that I’m able to go to the other person to reconcile our differences in love and with a forgiving heart.
But, a recent offense has me stuck like glue. The resistance within is beyond me and I can’t seem to see past something. But I don’t know what that something is.
Maybe it’s the specific situation, the person, or the need to be right?
Hmmm. This is deep!
I recently attended a workshop where the facilitator made what was to me a profound statement. He said, “STOP NEEDING to BE RIGHT“.
That was my trigger and a-ha moment.
Is it the need to be right that is making it hard to forgive? Is it that I’m not ready to see past someone refusing to see that my point and approach is right?
As I dig deeper, listen close to my truth, feelings and the wisdom within I realize that is exactly what it is.
I’m not ready to have a rational discussion or move on because I haven’t moved pass the need to be right.
This insight has helped me to see that it is not about the other person, it’s really about me. The other person who did the offense I can’t control. But I can control myself, my emotions, and the stress or peace I let in.
And, if I don’t address the issue with needing to be right (even if I am) I will never be ready to forgive, love, and reconcile.
I must grow comfortable with just being and receiving the other person’s truth and finding peace in the differences we share. If I don’t, I’ll be putting my well being at risk because an unforgiving person develops a hard heart. A hard heart produces selfish, self-centered, disconnected, unemotional behavior.
I will suffer if I hold on to the pain of the offense and the negative emotions (most often the people you do not forgive have no idea you feel the way you do and move pass the situation you found offensive).
So I choose to make room for peace, love, and joy.
Now let me call my mom and makeup with her.
What about you? Are you holding on to an offense that it’s time to move on from?
Are you stuck in your personal and or professional life because you need to be right?
Break free from these toxic behaviors and choose forgiveness. The spirit of peace will flow over you in such a mighty way the moment you let go.
If you find yourself tripping over the need to be right–it is time to “be humble and sit down” (Kendrick Lamar said that not me). The moment you open up yourself and let go of the need to be right you will find yourself more fulfilled, appreciative of others and will create the space to rise to that next level in your life.
All the best,